Sarah Palin on Sarah Palin

"Why I'm just your average small town book burning, abortion banning, gun wielding hypocrite hockey mom."

Note about the photo: Sarah loves animals so much she murders and stuffs them so she can always have them around her. Also notice, she has crabs.

Busy Bee

Artist: Ronan, Age 5,
San Francisco

Niece Nicola

I just received word from my aunt in Austin my half brother's baby has arrived. There were some complications during delivery, but she's doing OK in neonatal. Her name is Nicola Ann Petalas, after our late mother Nicky. Nicky, only 27 when she passed, was named after her great aunt, who died at the age of 15. Hopefully three times is a charm!

My half brother knew our mother for the first seven years of his life, but I had no idea he felt such connection with her still. I was very touched by this news. I don't have any memories of our mother.

You know, come to think of it, little Nicola's birth officially makes me an uncle. I have plenty of friends and cousins with children, but no siblings with kids until now. Pretty cool.

Project Jill Doll

My dear friend Grace came into town last week for some client and family visits. Friday night I drove up to spend some time with her at her folks' house just a little ways north of the city. I always find it so amusing the evolution of conversation and activity in any setting. On this particular Friday night, I was brought back in time and allowed some childhood nostalgia.

Grace had just received her aunt's old Jill Doll. Here's a little history lesson. Jill Dolls were all the rage of the 1950's, allowing girls the opportunity to be on the forefront of couture. I have to admit, after seeing this vintage doll and all her accessories, she was pretty damn fashion forward (even by today's standards).

What started out as an innocent exploration of the doll and her belongings quickly transformed into a game Grace and I played with her sister. We gave one another fashion assignments and had to dress Jill accordingly. Each of these assignments were then followed by a small photo shoot with our trusty digital cameras and Jill's original, fabulous vintage box as the backdrop.

Let's start the show:

LONDON HIGH TEA
Here we see Jill dressed for a high tea engagement with a fashion editor in London. She remains well poised yet edgy in her blue silk slacks and white, open-toed heels. She's an elegant woman who isn't messing around when it comes to gettin' shit did. Jill ties a bit of tradition into her ensemble with a gorgeous white stoal and a lovely string of pearls. Her bag is a carry all which doubles as a portfolio case. Jill's stunning attire will certainly impress.

NEW YORK AFTERNOON

Here we see Jill hailing a cab dressed for an afternoon of success in New York City. I styled her hair up because sophistication should be paired with functionality. She's wearing a sporting animal print tube top, high nickers with an oversize belt, dashing heels and a very chic jacket with white accents. Of course she's a smart girl so she specifically chose her white horn rimmed glasses to match her outfit. No woman would be completely dressed without a bag, and Jill's is a simple, black over-the-shoulder carry all.

SUNDAY DINNER WITH THE FAMILY

Jill is always practical yet stylish. Here you see her wearing a simple, vintage pattern dress with diamond head print. While she looks a bit more '50s wholesome housewife, she also draws inspiration from Little Edie Beale by repurposing her stoal as a head wrap. Very fashion forward. Jill adds tradition with her beautiful string of pearls, which tie in nicely with her silver satin and pearlescent sling back mules. Of course she would be remiss if she didn't bring something to Sunday dinner, so under her right arm she carries a honey baked ham. Mmmm, Jill looks delicious.

SHOPPING ON RODEO DRIVE

Here we see Jill sellin' it Beverly Hills style. She looks hot enough to fuck Richard Gere, or perhaps even turn him straight. A bit on the tarty side, polka dots certainly scream garish L.A. Let's face it, those people have nothing else to live for. This entire ensemble is a Vivien Westwood. Just kidding, it's actually an original Margo Montoya. Isn't her hat the most?! Really, call the fire dept., this is one scorching hot ensemble!

VIETNAMESE PROSTITUTE

"Ten dollar suckie-suckie, fuckie-fuckie," says Jill, who is more Miss Saigon streetwalker in this pure silk teal kimono top. Hanging off her right tit, Jill wears her unplanned newborn. The deliery is so fresh the afterbirth is still resting between her legs. Now that she's had the baby, her twat is prêt-à-porter, mmmmkay!