You Can't Handle the Truth PART II

This question around the goal of Capitalism is a poignant one. Without a goal, aim or mission, there are no measurable results nor a course to chart. And pray tell what course would that be exactly? Does anyone know? Do you know? Here's what Wikipedia has on the subject: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capitalism. The one criticism notated in this encyclopedic definition; unpredictability. Really, is that all?

The point Timothy Killian makes about Capitalism; it's purely socially and morally irresponsible to:
1) Have any public system without a measurable result
2) Have a system established in any way contrary to serving the best interests of the greater good

Capitalism as a whole is indifferent, focused on one primary outcome; profit.

Then there's good old fashioned Democracy. As Killian states, this political system is purported to be the best known to mankind. Really? What exactly is Democracy the best at doing?

What is humankind doing here on Earth? What's our greater purpose? To live behind a veil of lies and corruption? To absolve ourselves from the truth by winding ourselves up so tightly in popular culture that our lives are so meaningless no one cares anymore? To destroy one another and take the planet we're feeding on with it? Well if those aren't the reasons we as humankind are here, why in God's name are we acting like these are?

I just became aware of a new HBO television program called The Newsroom. The first episode starts with a political forum on a college campus. A young woman asks the question: "Why is America the greatest country in the world?"

The most quiet of the three panel speakers, a news anchor, who is pushed into giving an answer by the moderator, ends up going into a very articulate and well-informed rant. He basically says there is no evidence to suggest America is the greatest country in the world. Though he did say America is number one in the world for three things:
1) The number of our citizens incarcerated  per capita
2) The number of adults who believe in angels
3) Defense spending (more than the next 26 nations combined)

The full episode is available for streaming here: http://www.hbo.com/index.html#/the-newsroom/episodes/1/01-we-just-decided-to/video/full-episode.html/eNrjcmbOYM5nLlTPz0lxzEvMqSzJTA5ITE-1S8xN1SzLTEnNh4k65+eVpFaUcDIyskknlpbkF+QkVtqWFJWmsjGyMQIAUKwXOA==

Capitalism feeds on money. What is money? According to Wikipedia it's a system based on fiat money, nothing more than a government declaration on a note which must legally be accepted for all debts public and private. The intrinsic value of fiat money is zero, like trying to create something out of nothing. Certainly only God can accomplish such a task, thus likely why each U.S. monetary note reads the words, "In God We Trust." Well, one can certainly trust money as much as one can something that's completely fabricated and inauthentic.

"In God we trust" was adopted as the official motto of the United States in 1956 as an alternative or replacement to the unofficial motto of E pluribus unum, adopted when the Great Seal of the United States was created and adopted in 1782. E pluribus unum means out of or from many, one. What a novel idea; a collective or a collaboration. Certainly not the brand of unifying dogma our government and the powers that be feed us today. It's us vs. them; them against us. United we stand. Divide and conquer ...

You Can't Handle the Truth PART I

Ignorance truly is bliss. Unfortunately for me I've always been drawn to the truth, no matter how wonderful or how horrible.

On June 13th, 2012, one simple question Timothy Killian posted to his FB wall has since turned my world upside down. He wrote, "What is the goal of capitalism?" Suffice to say he received dozens of comments.

This last weekend, I was thumbing through Netflix looking for a good film or documentary to watch, this Capitalism question still burning in my subconscious. There it was, an award-winning documentary, Zeitgeist. Apparently this film was released in 2007. How have I not seen this until now?!

Zeitgeist examines the foundation upon which our "modern" society has been constructed, revealing hard-to-swallow truths that everything we've been taught to believe all our lives is a lie, including the notion we are in some way free.

If you've not seen this documentary, I highly recommend it (unless you can't handle the truth). The Federal Reserve, rather those behind it, are an invisible government comprised of the eight wealthiest families on Earth. American democracy is just an illusion to appease the masses. The federal income tax is illegal, and all the income tax collected is the amount needed to cover the interest payments on money the U.S. government borrows from the Federal Reserve. Each of us spends about three months working to pay this interest. We are all indentured to the uber elite. The system, no surprise here, is on the verge of collapse. That is, of course, unless we can chart a better evolutionary course to a future that works for everyone on the planet.

The veil has been lifted. Welcome to the age of revelations.

What does that even mean?

The day after my Grandma's funeral, I went to lunch with my mom, her life partner, aunt, cousin and her two little girls. In the middle of lunch, my cousin says to me, "I don't know how you got through what you read."

Wow, a little acknowledgement, I thought to myself. And from Lisa? "Honestly, I don't either. I asked Grandma for her strength during the prayer and I re-read what I wrote dozens of times to numb myself to my words," I revealed.

"You could be an actor," she added.

Really?! What does that even mean? A part of me still thinks I should have asked, and I had for a split second considered insisting on clarification were it not for the emotional fragility of our bereaved mothers.

What crossed my mind was, "Lisa, you’re so the epitome of authentic, thoughtful and selfless. Now that was acting. Thank you."

Honestly, in hindsight, what would have been ripe for the occasion is to acknowledge how utterly sad a statement she made. If the purpose of her statement was to question my authenticity, all she really did was declare her own. I regard this in the only way her "sentiment" exists in reality; a revelation of self.

Admittedly, I stepped outside myself the day of the funeral, that week, possibly even since the time of my dear Grandma's passing. I am uber sensitive and vulnerable to my core. I know the delivery of my eulogy was stoic. It began with an emotional connection. Suddenly becoming stoic by the end of the first page was a defense mechanism necessary so I could deliver my thoughtfully crafted words without completely falling apart; so my voice, my truth about my Grandma, could in some way, shape or form be expressed to those dearest to her.

I had one of the heaviest of hands planning and coordinating my Grandma's final life celebration. To me, at the time, having a creative outlet I thought to be helpful. In hindsight, it was a distraction which seemed to have benefitted me the least. I didn't allow myself to grieve her. Yet I don't know that I would have done anything differently for this was truly my final opportunity to do something for my Grandma, and I wanted to do all I could to ensure she had a perfect day of remembrance.

I began writing my Grandma's eulogy about a month before she died, just as she was starting hospice care. I know myself well enough if I had waited until the day arrived, I wouldn't have had the wherewithal (a word my ex of seven years introduced to my diction) to construct anything worthy of how this wonderful woman touched my life so profoundly. My Grandma was one of the truest and purest sources of love my soul has ever known incarnate.

My heart goes out to Lisa. Only someone void of love could be so insensitive and heartless ...

Our Perfect Day

Peggy Manning (a.k.a. Grandma)

December 17, 1915 - April 10, 2012

Grandma took me on a special outing one day when I was 10. We didn’t necessarily go anyplace exotic. Then again, we could be almost anywhere and have such a wonderful time. As I’m sure you all know any time spent with her was very special. But this particular instance I remember fondly as our prefect day.

I probably shouldn’t confess this, but Grandma and I could have entire conversations just exchanging glances back and forth across a room. It was almost as if we had a little joke going between us, which we never let anyone in on. Of course, that seemed to make the game even that much funnier to us both, and we’d laugh despite ourselves. I’d like to think of us in that way as kindred spirits, kind of rascally ones who just got such a kick out of one another, as she would’ve put it.

Anyway, it wasn’t until 27 years later, during this profound time of remembrance, that I even thought to give special prominence to our perfect day, a few magical moments in time we stole together, just the two of us. This was a rare occurrence considering how many adoring people Grandma had in her life to spend time with each and every day.

Certainly at 10 years old I scarcely had a thought in the world about the eventual finality of life. I regarded that time with her, as special as it always was, also as granted, and felt entitled to always have my Grandma near me.

Though I’m sure it was late summer, the day of our special outing felt much like spring, which may explain why the memory of it recently came rushing back to me. The weather was pleasantly warm, well for Western Washington anyway, with crystal blue skies and big, puffy clouds sailing overhead.

Grandma took me to Kirkland’s Park Place Cinema where we saw Places in the Heart. This was by no means a light-hearted story, but it was real, an honest portrayal, and it moved us both nevertheless. We squeezed each others’ hand through the sad parts and smiled at each other through the joyful parts. Such is a wonderful life surrounded by those who care.

The film takes place during the depression era. The main character, a widow, struggles to keep her home and family with the help of a disparate group of friends. Even at the time it dawned on me how much Grandma must have related to this film. Perhaps in some context, parts of her life, or better yet her dear mother’s life, were playing out on the silver screen right before her very, beautiful blue eyes.

Every person faces certain life struggles. Albeit, life isn’t about the challenges as much as it is about how we overcome them.

Grandma overcame her many life challenges, the least of which were financial in nature, with a strong sense of dignity and self worth. Arguably, her greatest challenges were her body’s eventual physical limitations, which she gallantly battled for several decades. Even when she lost her skilled knack for conversation, she would look at you with profound adoration and just say, "I love you." 

Like the graceful trooper she always was, she persevered so long for all of us as much as we wanted her to remain here and be with us all for as long as possible. I am certain she knew this. She was our matriarch, who for so long kept our family together. I’m sure she felt she had so much to keep fighting for.

During my own life challenges to accept and love myself for who I am and who I am not, she would always say to me, “I just want you to be happy.” If only everyone could model Grandma’s way of being, what an extraordinary world we could all aspire to enjoy in full self expression.

Even more important than overcoming our life challenges is acknowledging that which enables us to rise to the occasion, so-to-speak. In a word, it’s love. Simple as that. It’s just pure, 100 percent, honest-to-goodness, unconditional love free of judgment. Love is patient and kind. Love is forgiving. Love is essential. Love is never-ending.

On our perfect day, Grandma took me by a hobby shop and bought me a small model jet fighter, the kind requiring a bit of assembly. We then took my new toy and our lunch to a waterfront park on Lake Washington Boulevard. We sat together at a small, square picnic table by the shore and ate our sandwiches. The water was a solid, true blue on that day, as was the sky, as were her loving eyes. I pieced together my model while we chatted, smiling fondly at one another. Both of us were so happy and perfectly content. Honestly, I could’ve easily lived in that moment for a lifetime.

Throughout her lifetime, Grandma continued to evolve and nurture. Through what I had once thought of as some of my life’s greatest failures, even when she was well into her 90’s, she would say to me, “Only time will tell …”

I learned two important lessons from her wise words. The first is to just live in the moment. The second is to never curse your bad luck until you’re certain it’s not good luck.

During our last visit, which also was on a day much like our perfect day, I pointed out to her we were both wearing my favorite color, orange. She smiled in an approving manner and let out a little chuckle. I knew it was time for us to be complete with one another in this life. This was my intention for this visit.

I was fortunate enough to share with her my sincere happiness with my life; just the way it is and just the way it isn’t. Even bed-ridden, her whole face lit up as if she had just had her own, heart-felt epiphany. After all, this is what she told me she had always wanted for me. I know she wanted this for all her beloved. Such a selfless, giving and dare I say feisty soul.

Incidentally, I had also thought to ask her if she was comfortable. She nodded and very audibly repeated the word comfortable. I thought you would all want to know this.

About a month ago I saw my Grandma in a dream. I called my mom the next day to share this with her. In my dream she and I were blowing out candles together. Suddenly I was trying to help her navigate through an awkward house, which wasn’t at all right for her. I told my mom I knew Grandma didn’t have much time. Mom agreed.

I believe it was divinely guided Grandma passed on my birthday at just about the same time of day I came into the world. I had also planned to see her at that very time on Tuesday. Strangely ironic as it may seem, life delayed me.

Symbolism from my dream in hindsight appears to me now much more like foresight. Maybe there is some mystical design, and our company in life is somehow cosmically preassigned. Either way, I always expressed to her how lucky I was to have her as my Grandma, including at our last visit, despite feeling so entitled to her most of my life. Looking back, I’ve been an especially blessed person for such a long time to have had her with me all these years.

While I would do just about anything to have one more perfect day with my Grandma here on Earth, my heart knows we’re on the same path and we shall meet again. Until then, I willfully and respectfully let her go in peace to journey on with me in spirit. I will also from here forward honor April 10^th as just one of many of our perfect days together. Grandma, I love you with all my heart and soul; always, now and forever more …