Today's New York Times UFO Disclosure

Info. about our government admitting the existence and secret study of UFOs doesn't get more mainstream than this: Glowing Auras & 'Black Money': The Pentagon's Mysterious U.F.O. Program

Original Quote

"The more disconnected we are from nature, the less we understand about ourselves." -B.W. Davis

What is happening to our skies?

Sobering Thoughts

The map pin marks the Kelliwood Greens home my mom, dad and I built in the early 1990s.

The red X marks the same Kelliwood Greens home as viewed from satellite via NOAA's flood map on Aug. 31 after the Barker reservoir failed due to Harvey's record precipitation event.

Last Sunday night we had my mom and her partner over for burgers on the grill. A long time writing project along with good old fashioned reminiscing lead me to ask my mom questions about our life in one of my childhood homes. I could almost anticipate verbatim what she was going to initially say about it: "I hated that house." A house is just a human organization of materials. The real value, the meaning is what transpires as a result of those who dwell inside this structure.

I wanted to know specifically about our morning routine. My memory has faded and even though my mom has three decades on me, people tend to recall different things. Admittedly, I'm not generally one for the details, and I find importance in them now.

As it turns out, my mom could only recall what time she had to be at work along with my brother being a pain in the ass to get out of bed during high school. The latter I well recall, unfortunately.

My mom will be 73 come October, and has been living with a stage four cancer diagnosis since the summer of 2014. She is under the care of the head of oncology at SCCA and has been off chemo since May 2016.

The conversation at some point shifted to the recent solar eclipse. My mom's partner speculating about when the next one would be. My husband guessed and I interjected it would pass through Austin in seven years, and that we should go. Suddenly I realized that future time may be one absent my mom. An agonizing feeling gripped my heart along with the realization of how few others, who were part of my collective consciousness growing up, remain in my life now. Aside from my husband, my mom is really the only immediate family I have left.

Harvey hit last weekend as well. My mom and I reminisced a little about our time living in Houston. All week I've been obsessed with news coverage of the storm and subsequent, unprecedented floods.

The strange thing is, I don't really have anyone left in Houston either, not directly that I'm still connected with. Even so, I still feel for all the tens of thousands of people whose lives were disrupted and certainly even more so for those who perished as well as those left behind.

When I look a quarter century back, I am filled with feelings of joy as well as regret. My dad moved my mom and I to Houston at the start of my junior year in high school. My brother went off to California for his first year in college. I almost wrote that he was the more fortunate of us, and now I'm not so sure.

One of my nearest and dearest from my time in Houston, she and I have been distant for years and years. She had reached out to me ages ago on Facebook. I've since tried adding her as a friend. My request has yet to be accepted. Yesterday I wrote her a note just to acknowledge she's still in my heart and how delighted I would be if she wished to connect.

Yesterday I also discovered the home we built in West Houston, which my mom loves to remind me how I redesigned the front elevation so it would look more stately and unlike any other similar floor plan home in the area, was flooded. Our old neighborhood of Kelliwood Greens was under mandatory evacuation orders.

My past feels like it's being washed away and eroded. I take full responsibility for my part in that, for allowing connections I failed to hold dearer to wane and fade to nothing. Maybe this is what a mid-life crisis is? An existential quandary of soul to remain connected, healthy and relevant. These types of psychological upheavals tend to affect the male of our species much more than the female. Males tend to go a little bonkers, buy a nice car, have an affair or pretty much do anything to help anchor them to their youth or slow their prospect of aging. I would like to embrace where I'm at. Being able to revisit my past may be key to this. I don't know, this is uncharted territory. I've never been middle aged before and in this mindset.

Last night my husband and I had yet another quarrel about my illness, and the adverse impact it's having on my work/production. To say it feels so disenfranchising to be nearly five years ill with Lyme disease and co-infections and be expected to function at the level of a person with reasonable health is a gross understatement.

Most heavy this week was extraordinarily tragic news from my mom. Her great granddaughter of 15 months (on her partner's family's side) was rushed to the ER a couple days ago. She had been vomiting and had a history of seizures. At one point the baby's heart stopped and she was revived. The family slept at the ER Tuesday night in hopes that when the baby awoke all would be OK. At 4:30 a.m. Wednesday morning the doctors pronounced her brain dead after receiving her MRI results. They took her off of life support at 6:30 p.m. Wednesday evening. All family members who were present held this sweet, innocent baby girl in their arms one final time to say goodbye.

In all my blubbering around my challenges, nay, annoyances in my life, I cannot fathom the immense gravity of suddenly loosing such a young, innocent life. Her parents did all they could for her. The baby received good, regular medical care. They took her to the right place immediately. And yet ... These are the stories that put life into perspective for us. A soul perishing who had but a sliver of a history to wash away and has left dozens of people reeling in grief.

People suffer grief and loss from their parted connections. The deeper the connection, the greater the loss. The connections this child formed with those she touched were incredibly profound. I never met or knew this child, and yet my heart breaks for her, for her parents, her family and her community.

Talking with my mom about this on the phone today, I started to break down, imagining how beside themselves the child's parents must be during this time. It would be natural to second guess what else could have been done. There was nothing else. It was a seemingly senseless, callous act of life. Maybe her soul was just too good and too pure for this world.

Encounters & Dreams

On the thirteenth of August this year, I had a close encounter of an enchanting kind. Nightfall was just starting to set in, which means around 9:00 p.m. during Pacific Northwest late summers (and much later in late spring). I was out front of my home setting up the sprinkler when a flying object from the west caught my eye. It was large and gray with an enormous wingspan. The specter made a sudden two-point landing on the electrical service line across the lawn from where I was standing.

My sense was to remain still. I didn't want to startle this amazing creature. Or perhaps it was me preferring to not be startled by this amazing creature. My next inclination was to have my husband see it. On rare occasions in the middle of the night we hear owls calling out from the woods behind our home. We've never actually seen one incarnate.

I slowly reached for the phone in my front pocket. As I started to dial the owl leaped from its perch and swooped down onto the lawn where it stood about eight feet from me, wings partially extended at its sides. I couldn't believe it. Indeed it was an owl, a very big owl, about the size of a human toddler.

My husband answered just as the owl took flight again. I could make out even in the darkness it landed in one of the two trees at the end of our front walk. In a whispered voice I told my husband about the owl and to come join me for viewing. Moments later he was gingerly opening our front door and sat beside me on our front stoop. I explained where I had last seen the owl. Suddenly the silhouette of a youngster riding a bike appeared on the street at the end of our driveway, not something we usually see at night. The bicyclist turned around and then vanished down the street. Just as they were turning around, the owl once more leaped out from its perch. We both watched as it flew from the tree over our carport before it, too, disappeared between ours and the neighbor's house to the north.

My only other close encounter with an owl was in Texas. My dad, mom and I were driving home one night. We were about a quarter mile or so from our street when the loudest sounding collision you could imagine struck our windshield, shattering the center third of it. We hit an owl or an owl hit us. The three of us screamed. I believe we were all of course scared out of our wits because of the sudden violence and on a deeper level because it was an owl.

The ancient Greeks revered the goddess Athena, who was supposed to be the goddess of wisdom and guardian of the Acropolis. Her symbol was the owl, so the bird became a symbol of higher wisdom. The owl was a bird of prophecy and wisdom in many ancient cultures.

I like to think my owl encounter is a good omen.

On Sun. 8/27 I dreamed I had a very odd looking spider on my right shoulder. It was elongated, kind of like an ant, but it was definitely an eight-legged spider. A black one. It bore into my skin with its legs. In my dream I don't know how long it had been on/in me. I flicked it off and once it was free from my flesh I noticed it had left behind crimson marks in the shape of a dog bite.

The next morning after I awoke, I was rinsing dishes and loading them in the dishwasher. I pulled the cutting board from the sink to give it a scrub and suddenly noticed a big, black spider at the base of my left thumb. I threw the cutting board and shook my hand. It fell to the floor and disappeared. I was almost more startled because my dream from the night before was still fresh in my mind.

Dream interpretation: To dream of a spider denotes that you will be careful and energetic in your labors, and fortune will be amassed to pleasing proportions. If one bites you, you will be the victim of unfaithfulness and will suffer from enemies in your business.

Another suggests little annoying or irritating things that are left undone. Can be a fear of gossipy things said about you - or the consequences of gossip you engaged in regarding someone else.

Yet another suggests it can symbolize feeling trapped in a stale or unsatisfying relationship. To dream that you are bitten by a spider represents conflict with your mother or some dominant female figure in your life.

Still another suggests it indicates that you are feeling like an outsider in some situation. Or that you may want to keep your distance and stay away from an alluring and tempting situation. The spider is also symbolic of feminine power. The dream may be a metaphor for a devouring mother or the feminine power to possess and entrap. Perhaps you are feeling trapped by some relationship. Alternately, a spider may refer to a powerful force protecting you against your self-destructive behavior. Spiders are a symbol of creativity due to the intricate webs they spin. On a negative note, spiders indicate a feeling of being entangled or trapped in a sticky or clingy relationship. It represents some ensnaring and controlling force. You may feel that someone or some situation is sucking the life right out of you.

On Mon. 8/28 I had a dream with raccoons in it. I'm foggy on the details. After I awoke the first text I received was from my bestie, who sent me a picture of a raccoon at her bedroom window and a note declaring this guy and his friends kept her up until 3:00 a.m. 

Dream interpretation: To dream of a raccoon denotes you are being deceived by the friendly appearance of enemies. Also, the raccoon has stood for deception and mischief, and thievery down through the ages because of his mask and his nocturnal ways. It shows that people are presenting false faces to you in your everyday life.

Partial Solar Eclipse

Dim eclipsed-sunlight filtering through tree leaves cast cloud-like shadows on our driveway.

One of the first social media posts I read today was from a gal who I know through the Lyme community. She wanted to know whether fellow patients were experiencing anything unusual on account of the solar eclipse. Comments included: "I feel like I'm on a wild ride;" "intense;" "overwhelmed;" "I feel like my normal self;" "jittery, anxious;" "weird head pressure;" "migraine;" "teared up from intense neuro symptoms;" "no difference."

Upon waking I like to meditate, and today I did so for 20 minutes. I just sit up in bed, cross-legged with my hands folded Buddhist style in my lap, and set my watch to ring the alarm when it's time. My field of close-eyed vision was calm. You know when your eyes are closed it's not completely 100% dark, even on the most pitch black of nights. It's more like you're trying to watch a TV broadcast of a channel that doesn't exist or there's no reception for. For me I perceive a field of fine static fuzziness comprised of very small, fine dots.

I have an opening mantra I repeat a few times in my mind's eye. Then I watch my breath and request communion with the greater power. I ask it to be present along with providing harmony and healing. This morning's meditation was overall good with moments of clarity and inner peace in the middle and right at the very end before my watch began beeping its alarm.

We took in today's partial eclipse (92.5% coverage) at our private community beach called the Cove. We arrived a little before 10:00 a.m. Pacific. Our original plan was to join the viewing party at the Des Moines library, which was going to be handing out solar glasses until they ran out. On the way there Mt. Rainier was encircled in marine layer; mystical and spectacular.

The library had ran out by the time we got there. We turned down the hill toward the water and thought perhaps the pier at the marina would make for a good spot. That's when we noticed the fog rolling in. We changed course again and returned to our neighborhood's waterfront.

The fog bank had rolled all the way north from Des Moines. Another fog bank rolled in from the west and hugged the coast a little ways out into the water. The shoreline was as wide, if not wider, than I've ever seen it with an extremely low tide. Another fog bank was threatening to crest the hillside from the north of us. The view east remained clear as well as within a quarter mile radius around our location on the beach. We were literally wreathed by a fog belt, which was eerie and beautifully surreal.

At one point my husband pointed out the fading light. I removed my sunglasses to scan the landscape, which was cast in an early dusk dimness. Ducks flew in groups westward out to the water from the lagoon east of our location.

The air was cool and as the sun's light faded the air became noticeably cooler. I felt really anxious while we were there, and as the light lowered I felt physically heavier, like the force of gravity had slightly intensified.

The apex of the eclipse occurred around 10:21 a.m. Pacific. A short while after the apex, two large cranes soared overhead. A flock of birds, crows, ducks and others, flew back to shore out of the fog bank. Then a bald eagle began circling overhead. Amazing.

We left the beach about 10 min. later and drove back home. On arrival the broad daylight still appeared strained. I grappled with whether it was the way I was perceiving the light, readjusting after having been out on the open shoreline. Our home is in a more wooded setting.

My anxiousness had me questioning whether I had injured my eyes. I am the very last person who needs to add insult to his already long list of medical ailments; past and present.

My husband wanted to know what I wanted to do with our day. My body temperature was still feeling low. I was chilled, shivering and imagined that may have been contributing to my anxious feeling. I suggested we crawl back into bed to warm ourselves and so we did.

I was still restless, so my husband suggested I do a 10 min. meditation to bring myself back to center. So I did. This particular meditation was very different from earlier. At first my field of closed eye vision was super agitated. The fuzz was moving around aimlessly and rapidly. I took it in and sat with it, and then things calmed. I even felt a moment of divine stillness. My soul overall felt restless. The world feels restless, and it is. It's more important for us all now to find stillness and peace.

Waiting for the eclipse B&T selfie portrait.

Very low tide.

Northwestern fog bank

South, southwestern fog bank.

North fog bank.

Two cranes.

Bald eagle.

John Lennon on World Peace

John Lennon talks about the dark and evil powers that he believes really control the world.

The Summer of Fire & Fury

Canadians have declared this the summer of fire on account of the most smoke ever recorded, and which was released by what is so far the second worst wildfire season. This wildfire season is also still far from over.

America's so-called president Trump has threatened North Korea with "fire and fury," then threatened military intervention in Venezuela.

The following weekend the largest white supremacist gathering in decades converged on Charlottesville, VA with Trump stating there are good people who are part of the ethnic cleansing movement.

Today another terrorist attack occurred in Barcelona, Spain; a car striking a crowd of pedestrians, just as one did in Charlottesville and London and ...

Every day the news has another awful horror to disseminate, chipping away at the spirit of the masses. I've been feeling a profoundly heavy sense, a global sadness.

This week millions of Americans will witness our moon blotting out our sun. Hasn't the sun already been blotted out for long enough?

As we've all witnessed, darkness comes in many forms. Superiority. Narcissism. Greed. Inequality. Hate. Racism. Violence. These man made forms of darkness all stem from a common place; delusion.

I am encouraged in some way by those who are still able to go about their daily lives without a heavy heart and as though it's business as usual. Let us please not delude ourselves. The state of our union is anything but business as usual; we're in crisis. Foremost, the President of the United States of America is a threat to all Americans, our Constitution and the world at large.

Let me be clear. Nazis, the KKK, White Nationalists and the Alt-Right suffer from mental illness. While these people may be American citizens, what they stand for comes from the deepest, darkest, soulless abyss of human excrement. This vile repugnance known as hatred must be eradicated. So long as Trump remains in office, the country's hemorrhaging of hate and divisiveness will continue inundating our country's soul with evil.

Previously we all lived in a paradigm of right versus wrong. We now live in a new paradigm of good versus evil. These two paradigms may have similarities, they are not one in the same. Though it was long ago, we have been here before. Our bloody Civil War. World War II. These conflicts are etched in our DNA. We know the face of evil, and we will overcome it once more. The brightness of the human spirit will always outshine its darkest malevolence. For a second there I thought that word bore a striking resemblance to male violence.

History has but one law: progress, despite back-stepping. Think bigger than our views of today's reality. Imagine what is possible in the years, decades and centuries ahead. All that you imagine and envision what the future holds begins with your thoughts calling it into being. Whatever you can conjure in your wildest dreams you can materialize in a future reality. What do you envision, and what are you willing to do to bring it to fruition?

We can all live as one in peace and harmony. Our world has enough for everyone.

Resist evil. Love and heal.

An Accurate History of the Alt-Right

 The image and the following italicized text came direct from the neo-Nazi Daily Stormer blog:

Roughly four years ago, a new type of White nationalist movement began to form on the internet. This was mostly made-up of young people who were formulating ideas with minimal influence from prior White nationalist movements.

It was a situation of different online subcultures (some of which were influenced by older offline movements) coming together. These groups collided, based on their having reached common conclusions, and the result is what is now called the Alt-Right.

I am going to layout here these various factions, and what ultimately led them toward this center-point where we have all met. The campaign of Donald Trump is effectively the nexus of that centerpoint.

For more info., visit:
https://www.dailystormer.com/a-normies-guide-to-the-alt-right/https://www.dailystormer.com/a-normies-guide-to-the-alt-right/

First ever Trump speech to clearly condemn racist hate groups

Finally. As they say, better late than never. An excerpt of Trump's remarks, after self-aggrandizing about the economy, from his news conference about Charlottesville this morning:

"We must love each other, show affection for each other and unite together in condemnation of hatred, bigotry and violence. Racism is evil, and those who cause violence in its name are criminals and thugs, including the KKK, neo-Nazis, white supremasts and other hate groups that are repugnant to everything we hold dear as Americans. We are a nation founded on the truth that all of us are created equal." -Donald Trump

Trump's remarks came a day after several GOP lawmakers pressed him to call out hate groups by name. The Daily Stormer has yet to post a response to Trump's latest remarks.

UPDATE 8/15: Trump back-peddled from the above statement to say: "You have some very bad people in that [neo Nazi] group, but you also had people that were very fine people on both sides."

Trump cannot stand firm against Nazis, thus he is a threat to civil society.

Window into the darkest side of humanity

Curiosity lead me to visit neo-Nazis' Daily Stormer "summer of hate edition" blog over the weekend. Couldn't spend much time there. A friend's Facebook post said it best and inspired the title for this post. The first two stories featured on this blog yesterday spoke volumes about the mentality of these deluded beings:

#1 Story: Road Rage Does NOT Represent White Supremacy – #HugANazi #RoadRageHasNoPolitics
Andrew Anglin Daily StormerAugust 13, 2017

The hypocrisy of discouraging violence clearly without the ability to connect the relational dots between hate speech and violence.

#2 Story: Heather Heyer: Woman Killed in Road Rage Incident was a Fat, Childless 32-Year-Old Slut
Andrew Anglin Daily StormerAugust 13, 2017

Complete dehumanization of the woman killed by a racist. And again the hypocrisy of the groups' weekend chants of "white lives matter."

The way a person treats another is a direct reflection of a person's relationship with self. Clearly the racists and bigots have a poor self image. Racism, bigotry, hatred-they're mental illnesses. Illness can be healed with effective treatment, first is has to be diagnosed.

Trump's support for American domestic terrorists unclear

A black Charlottesville, VA police officer protects the first amendment rights of hate groups to speech and assembly.

President Trump spoke a day after riots broke out on account of the alt-right, white supremacist, neo-Nazi, KKK, racist domestic terrorist groups' convergence in Charlottesville, VA this weekend as part of their 'Unite the Right' rally in which three people died and scores were left injured. This rally was one of the largest such gatherings of bigots in decades.

“We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry, and violence. On many sides,” Trump said about the event at a press conference today.

What Trump omitted from his speech as well as obscured did not go overlooked by a handful of his party's members. GOP lawmakers John McCain, Orrin Hatch, Marco Rubio, Cory Gardner, Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, Tim Scott and Ted Cruz publicly pressured Trump with individual statements to call out and denounce the white supremacist groups.

"We should call evil by its name. My brother didn't give his life fighting Hitler for Nazi ideas to go unchallenged here at home." posted Hatch on Twitter.

Former KKK leader David Duke today said Trump inspired these groups to converge. His actuality can be viewed here: https://www.vox.com/2017/8/12/16138358/charlottesville-protests-david-duke-kkk

Neo-Nazis today published the following about Trump's remarks in their publication The Daily Stormer:

"Trump comments were good. He didn’t attack us. He just said the nation should come together. Nothing specific against us.
He said that we need to study why people are so angry, and implied that there was hate… on both sides!
So he implied the antifa are haters.
There was virtually no counter-signaling of us at all.
He said he loves us all.
Also refused to answer a question about White Nationalists supporting him.
No condemnation at all.
When asked to condemn, he just walked out of the room.
Really, really good.
God bless him."

American Culture on Illness & Mortality (Part 1)

An acquaintance I know through one of my social media Lyme disease groups (and who I've met a couple times in person; we were seeing the same Lyme-literate ND) had posted a while back about being laid up in bed, miserable due to her intensive new treatment protocol. She is far more ill than I am. Her post wasn't intended to share her misery or even solicit empathy. What she wanted was a good dose of humor to lighten her mood; to laugh in the face of darkness. So I made her the above meme. I ran across one similar in another social media Lyme forum, and those of us who are ailed with this affliction can really appreciate the humor in this. Laughter is the best medicine.

Lyme disease is definitely no laughing matter. Half of all U.S. counties have Lyme. The CDC gives a conservative estimate of 300,000 new U.S. cases annually. Due to outdated testing with many false-negative results, and a medical community that by-in-large dismisses or fails to understand Lyme, thousands of patients don't get the medical intervention they need to avoid long term chronic illness, which can become fatal. I'm fast-approaching the five year mark since I fell ill and now 21 months into integrative treatment.

My mother-in-law is my antithesis around broaching the subject of health. Even if it has been weeks or months since seeing her, usually she will work something into conversation about her deteriorating health, typically as part of her salutation or she'll just skip by the salutation altogether and dive right into complaining about her health. It's extremely off-putting. As the recipient of this information, I try to look engaged when I really just wish she would stop talking and leave me alone.

Here I am, also ailed, and finding it difficult to welcome her complaints nor bestow gracious empathy. My mother-in-law also does very little to support her own health, which I struggle to comprehend. So perhaps my story of confusion around how she falls short of dealing most effectively with her illness clouds the space I give her to unload on me.

I'm quite the opposite of my mother-in-law around the subject of my personal health. I've made a habit of not bringing it up to my friends and family. Here are a few of my reasons:

Foremost, forget politics, I get the sense a person's health is one of the all-time most taboo subjects. I'm sure there are myriad reasons for this. I sense among my peers illness and mortality are generally not topics most of us are ready to openly embrace, especially those like me who are middle age. Like religion, for example, our finite being in this world is very personal as much so as every individual's felt sense of purpose. I can certainly appreciate this, and yet I find it quite curious. Is this unique to American culture? How does American culture deal with the subject of illness and mortality differently than other cultures? Which culture deals with these subjects most gracefully and holistically? My inquiring mind wants to know.

Secondly, people want to talk about subjects they're interested in. Most people are not interested in hearing about your health, and that's perfectly OK.

Third, in the case of my illness in particular, it has seemed to me to have gone on for so long many of my friends have forgotten that I am still sick. Some have said they aren't sure whether it's something I'm comfortable discussing. When someone says that, I believe they're actually projecting their own discomfort in hearing about my illness back onto me. Touche and lame. Art makes people uncomfortable all the time, and yet there's still a place for it; we can still value it.

The other night my husband and I were out to dinner with another gay couple we've known for years.  One of them works in the health care industry. That night I was really struggling with breath shortness, my most loathed of all my symptoms. During such times I find it really difficult to be part of the conversation, virtually any conversation. Talking can be physically laborious for me when this symptom flairs.

Toward the end of our meal my breathing eased. I made mention of it only to explain why I wasn't contributing as much to the conversation. Something along the lines of having some breath shortness, that it has subsided otherwise I would have been more talkative. I received blank stares in response, a clear social cue to change topic. Even though both of our friends know what I've been grappling with over the years, there's never a check in about how I'm doing. More than half of my other friends check in out of care, and that feels kind to me.

Everyone is different, and I'm sure there are those out there living with chronic or terminal illness who are uncomfortable discussing it with others. My mom is one of those people who doesn't like people knowing about her stage four lung cancer and only talks about it with select people. For me personally, I appreciate being acknowledged for what I must endure to continue making it in the world.


Yes, we all have our daily struggles of putting food on our tables, etc. Those struggles in my life have not been replaced during the last five years with my struggles to recover my health. No, they've only further compounded my burdens. The only thing that has really changed is my physical aptitude to meet challenges day by day. For this, it would be nice to have a little more understanding, if not empathy, from others.

There's a great quote: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about." -Wendy Mass

The Truth Is Out There

Russian TV Exposes Rothchild Family

Summer of Fire: Seattle breaks dry spell record

This video shows an animated graph of warm weather trends from the time of the industrial revolution until today.

Seattle is a vital part of my world view, it's what I've known for the better part of 36 years, so I can confidently share from this perspective. When my family moved to the area in August 1981, a heat wave ushered in our first week with daytime high temperatures up to 105 degrees Fahrenheit. Coming from Richmond, Virginia's humid summers, the heat was something we were accustomed to. Even without the east coast humidity, having no air conditioning in our rental house was just plain miserable.

Until recently, summer began in the Seattle area like clockwork. Either right on, the day before or the day after July 4 is when we would begin consistently having daytime temperatures above 70 degrees. In the years 2014, 2015 and 2016, the warm weather began continuously as early as mid to late April. Typically Western Washington's Junes are cool, a little drizzly and gloomy. Not so for the aforementioned years. This year (2017) we received record precipitation, especially snow in the mountains, and our warm weather started more typically in July. The spring was much colder than usual and June wasn't quite back to its normal "Junuary" pattern.

We're now week two into a moderate heatwave, which wouldn't be so bad except less than 15 percent of locals have air conditioning and the air is now too unhealthy to open windows. Our poor air quality is on account of massive fires burning in the Canadian province of British Columbia, our neighbor directly north. Of course it's also wildfire season in the Pacific Northwest including my home state of Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana.

I recall wildfire smoke in the Puget Sound Region two years ago this month, and it was nowhere near as severe and much shorter lived than what we're currently experiencing. The air quality has at times been poorer than in Beijing, which is notorious for heavy and dangerously toxic levels of smog.

On August 8, Seattle broke an all-time record for the most consecutive days without precipitation (51 previously). We are now on day 53 and counting, and thankfully rain is in the forecast for Sunday. It cannot come soon enough.

Since middle to late last week I have been holed up in my house mostly. I've made a few trips out of the house, each time causing me respiratory distress; breath shortness, throat irritation, sinus congestion, headache. As part of my complex chronic illness symptoms associated with Lyme and co-infections, I had already been grappling with intermittent breath shortness since spring 2013. The week before the smoke arrived I was actually really beginning to feel so much better. That progress has been reversed, unfortunately.

Here are some images for the record:

Data from the nearest state air quality monitor for this afternoon.

An average, sunny day in Beijing, China.

Downtown Seattle, Washington (13.9 miles north of my home)

We're choking on smoke here in Seattle, and don't just take my word for it: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/09/opinion/smoke-heat-seattle-climate.html

Downtown Tacoma, Washington (22.6 miles south of my home)

Current and forecast weather conditions displayed this afternoon on my iPhone weather app. Relief is on the way this weekend.

Global Banking Cartel Expose

In less than 10 min. learn about the banking dynasty that makes our modern world turn ...

Do we travel in dreams?

Have you ever had a dream that was so vivid, so seemingly real, when you awoke you carried with you the feelings you experienced well into the day as though, possibly, what you dreamed actually happened?

Today my friend reminded me of such experiences when he shared with me about his night paralysis episodes. Some of them are too graphic for me to describe here. Several of them involved visitations from other worldly beings, demons per se. To give more insight into what my friend described, it's important to know his early world view was founded upon Christian beliefs. He mentioned the term succubus and talked about being between consciousness, having the sensation of someone sitting on his chest. He reported having actually seen shadowy figures, being unable to move his body as it lay in slumber. He reported hearing voices and sounds so real he swore it was not just his imagination.

While I'm not someone who suffers night paralysis, generally speaking, I think I may have had some brushes with it. Occasionally I find myself in dreams being haunted by someone or something. In trying to wake myself to end whatever suffering is heading my way, my physical being materializes moans, sometimes whimpers. This has awoken my husband on occasion, who then wakes me to make sure I'm alright. The fear seems real. Sometimes I am able to recount the dream, or horror, and other times I suffer short term memory loss.

Once I saw a shadowy figure. I was in college, rooming with my brother in a two bedroom townhome. My bedroom was pretty basic, consisting of a bed, desk and drawers. My bed was positioned against the far wall and window with my desk directly adjacent. On this particular night I was awaken by the sudden, startling realization I wasn't alone in my room. Yet the room was dark and still. Without opening my eyes, which I was first fearful of doing, it felt as if someone were sitting next to me, just watching me sleep. I'm getting a chill now as I type this.

When I did crack an eyelid, I saw someone or rather something. It was like a silhouette figure, sitting in my desk chair, which I usually kept pushed all the way in when not in use. Yet here the chair was, pulled out from the desk a little ways and turned facing directly toward the bed.

In the instant I perceived the shadowy figure, the figure began to dissipate, becoming a fuzz of black dots or small black spheres which whirled around, growing smaller and moving faster until it vanished in moments.

I shared this with my friend who had first reported to me about his night paralysis, and he got the chills.

I've practiced meditation over the years as well as participated in several conscious breathing workshops. Both have a very strong connection to pure consciousness, and at times I have experienced being elsewhere. I'm certain my experiences, while unique, are widely shared.

DMT, also known as the spirit molecule, is a powerful psychedelic, said to literally transport human consciousness to other realms, times, space and dimensions. It works on our pineal gland, which is located deep in the core of the human brain. This gland is responsible for secreting a substance near death that gives a person an out of body experience. Near death experiences also are attributed to the actions of the pineal gland. Meditation is said to be a natural way to stimulate it.

As I type this, scientists and engineers are working to create singularity. Singularity is a way of downloading a person's consciousness into a computer, giving someone the ability to perhaps live forever, or at least until the hard drive fails. Digital immortality. This begs the question, if consciousness can be moved from one place to another, could our consciousness possibly be powerful enough to transport us places, too?

Unexplained: An Intelligent Reptilian 'Humanoid'?

X-rays of these small bodies from the tomb in Nazca raise new and interesting questions ...

Matt Damon on the Ruling Elite

Truth.

Nature's Music

What do tree rings sound like when played like a record? 

 

What do birds on wires sound like when played by instruments?

BedFest 2017

It's not too late for an art submission to BedFest: http://www.meaction.net/bedfest/

As someone who has struggled with chronic illness for 4.5 years, I was moved to tears by this short music video. How does one not mourn the vibrant parts of one's self that have been lost to disease? I hope this inspires you as much as it has inspired me ...

LOVE

No Win Situation

When I think of writing about myself, I have often been inclined to cast my husband as the antagonist. In fact, I am pretty sure the reader would most dislike his real life character based on how his behavior and actions are reported in objective reality. That in and of itself should say something, shouldn't it?

I've been sick with Lyme and a couple co-infections for about four and a half years now. My husband has known me since long before illness, during a time when I felt unstoppable. My life was so full then of fun, friends, going out on the town, being active; brimming over with vitality. Most days now all I have the bandwidth for is work and rest.

I used to be angry about being chronically ill. My disease has taken so much from me. Enjoyment in simple things I once took for granted; like eating complex foods at some glam restaurant. The most painful things ripped from me; friends. While loss is often painful, it can also be cleansing. I make an effort to find gratitude in the things and once important people who have fallen by the wayside. If something is meant to be, it will be. In fact I often tell my clients the right deal always materializes.

My in-laws are in town for my husband's cousin's memorial, which was Friday. Everything "extracurricular" I do I often have to map out in advance, if even to mentally prepare for additional human interaction. Sounds crazy, right? It does to me anyway. At the same time, it's my present reality.

The thing is, I wake up everyday feeling like I'm hung over. Only there was no night before bender to induce this sorry state. Even if I get a solid eight, uninterrupted hours of sleep (insomnia is common with this illness) I still wake up feeling unrested, like shit. So it takes me quite a bit to get going in the mornings, including time to medicate, eat and medicate again, etc. With limited bandwidth, it's important for me to be able to plan, as much as possible, how I allocate my energy day-to-day.

I've been working some crazy long hours the past couple weeks, which is super hard on me. One week, everyday I was up and immediately launched into work on my laptop in bed not to put down my day (dressing, meals and bathroom breaks aside) until bedtime; for days consecutive. Wake up, work, go to bed and do it all over again. That's no way to live, for anyone. Last year I did the majority of my production, which was equivalent to the previous year, in six months. By early October I hit a wall. Nearly six months later I feel like I still haven't fully recovered from overworking myself.

Within the past few weeks, in a fit of frustration, I told my husband I wanted to quit my job. He said if I did we'd end up getting divorced, because we would run out of money. I asked if that's all I was to him; just a paycheck. I don't exactly recall how he tried to talk his way out of that one, feebly no doubt.

Yesterday I was on the road by 8:30 a.m., which really takes something for me. It means planning, extra effort. Had a brief break from 12:20 p.m. to around 1:00 p.m. between driving the hour or so back from my morning appointment to lunch, medicate and write up an offer contract for the client I was going back out to meet at 1:00 p.m. During my rushed, multi-tasking lunch time my husband walked in the house with my mother-in-law. I received them cordially. At the same time I was focused on the tasks at hand. My mother-in-law asked if I was going to dinner at my brother-in-law's that night. I said it was the first I was hearing of it. Just then my husband brashly began berating me about how I have so many message notifications on my phone I didn't see his text message.

I asked when he sent the message. He said about 15 or 20 minutes prior. So I reminded him of my activities to that point, asking him when I would have been focused on anything other than the task at hand. I then asked if dinner would be in an environment where I wasn't constantly being made wrong, because then I would consider it.

Honestly, I would rather be able to spend leisure time with family than feel like I need to recharge. My biological batteries have been feeling consistently quite depleted. It's during these times having additional interpersonal interaction feels like a pull.