Sunset @ the North Pole

My dear Poops (that's our affectionate nickname for one another) just sent me the below photo and caption in response to my Star Dusk post I shared with her about the sun setting on Seattle. In fact, she rang me out of the blue the very evening I took the Seattle sunset photo to draw my attention to something I was already observing. On different ends of town we were both simultaneously watching the bright orange globe melt into the sea and over the Olympic Mountains. We were both gazing at the same sunset and for some reason she thought of me at that very same moment. What a delightful surprise to hear from her, especially when she called to draw my attention to something I was similarly enjoying.

There is a certain power around connections like the aforementioned. Jung described them as "synchronistic experiences." Much of his psychological study and practice was devoted to synchronisities in life. Fasinating subject ...

Sunset @ the North Pole

CAPTION: A scene you will probably never get to see, so take a moment and enjoy. This is the sunset at the North Pole with the moon at its closest point. You also see the sun below the moon. An amazing photo and not one easily duplicated. You may want to pass it onto others. The Chinese have a saying that goes something like this: "When someone shares with you something of value, you have an obligation to share it with others!"

Well, I think my work is done here in this moment ...

Dark Night of the Soul

During my last visit with my acupuncturist, we talked about the winter season here in the often grey Pacific Northwest. Eric referred to it as "the dark night of the soul." What can I say, the man goes deep and is a really great resource for me to talk with and use as a sounding board.

Eric is a classic five element acupuncturist. He incorporates a Daoist approach to treating his patients. Simply put, he doesn't treat the individual patient as much as he treats his own reaction to the patient and where they're at physically, emotionally and spiritually in the present. The Daoists believe everything is one. For example, you the reader are the same as the screen on which you are reading this text.

Scientifically speaking, everything in the universe is composed of the same basic building blocks of matter and energy. In classic five practice, that would translate to elements. I digress ...

Upon further reflection around my last entry, this is a very difficult time of year for most Seattleites and Western Washingtonians. The days are short and the sun is often drown out by clouds. The ancients who originally called the winter season as "the dark night of the soul" created many festivals involving light, which still rings true today. The ancient Chinese believe spring starts in early February, hence why they based their New Years celebration during this time. I think most would aggree spring is an appropriate time of year for new beginnings.

A friend just advised me it is predicted by 2010 depression will become the second greatest reason worldwide for disability. For anyone who may be suffering from dipression and lonliness during this time of year, take in some light. Travel someplace where the sun shines. Take an evening stroll through the heart of the brighly lit city. Keep your home well lit in the early morning and/or the evening. Take in some light reading. Most important of all, connect with associates, friends and loved ones. As my friend pointed out, technology has moved us further away from not only ourselves, but also from each other in many ways. It's very important for us as people to remain connected with one another.

On February 7 we will pass from the dark night of the soul into a brand new year according to the ancient Chinese calendar, which shows the upcoming year as 4705 vs. 2008.

Star Dusk | Urban Eclipse

Capturing the setting sun as observed intensely beaming through the glass windows of a Downtown Seattle office skyscraper. The verb capture is such a misnomer in this context. A person can capture a moth, but the very thought of capturing a star in any respect, something so incredibly massive and so many dozens of times larger than any of the planets in our solar system, is silly to say the least. I suppose that's why we have terms like idiomatic.

I shot this photograph on January 15, 2008. What a very rare and pleasantly bizarre several days we experienced. The city was graced by a solid week of consecutive sunsets in the middle of winter. Thankfully my 7th story view allowed me to enjoy them all!

This photo in particular shows how Seattle is partially blocking my view of the center of our solar system.

The setting sun is my second favorite natural event next to the rising sun. What a fantastic spectacle - there's nothing else quite like it on earth ...

Writer's Block

Apparently if this guy can't undo it, no one can: http://www.unblock.org/

Modern Acronyms

Since I was in a wordy mood, I thought I'd share some of my favorite colloquial acronyms and their origins:

OMGYG = Oh my God, you guys!
Origin: Grace, San Francisco

TFS = Totally for sure! (also a way to further punctuate OMGYG)
Origin: Grace, San Francisco

BFF = Best friend forever
Origin: unknown

WTF = What the fuck
Origin: unknown, but I learned this one while working onsite at Microsoft

POS = Piece of shit
Origin: As much as I'd like to take credit for this one as I've organically used it to describe to clients product that is utterly worthless. I'm sure someone else has been saying it long before I have.

BFD = Big fucking deal
Origin: unknown

YMBS = You must be stopped!!!
Origin: Sarah, San Luis Obispo, CA (late 1990's)

TOOCRB (pronounced "T double-OCRB") = Totally out of control real bad.
Origin: Danielle, San Luis Obispo, CA (like back in the mid '90s)

CBATBB, G = (literal translation) Champagne brunch at the Black Bart, George (alternate meaning) Would you like to have breakfast?
Origin: J's uncle in Calaveras County, CA (like WAY before the mid '90s)

SBD = Silent, but deadly (a term generally applied when someone breaks wind without a sound)
Origin: Oh, who the hell knows, but I first heard the expression as a child in the early '80s.

TGIF = Thank God it's Friday (meaningless to someone like myself who often works weekends)
Origin: unknown, but Grace and I like to say it to one another just to be obnoxious because it's so fucking cheesy to say and actually mean it!

OMG - I almost forgot one of my most commonly used acronyms. TG my other BFF reminded me - TFS!

TTFN = Ta ta for now
Origin: unknown (though I recall this one as a quote from the movie Witchboard back in the '80s)

If you have a modern acronym you'd like to share, please by all means comment!

word du jour: kerfuffle

kerfuffle
Main Entry: ker·fuf·fle Pronunciation: \kər-ˈfə-fəl\
Function: noun
Etymology: alteration of carfuffle, from Scots car- (probably from Scottish Gaelic cearr wrong, awkward) + fuffle to become disheveled
Date: 1946 chiefly British : disturbance fuss

Here, I'll use it in a true sentence. "Today, I had a bit of a kerfuffle on the phone with my client's tenant."

This word has found its way into one of my fun loving circles of friends. We'll call them the gossip hounds. They love the dish, the dirt, the now, the 411. They start salivating and licking their chops at the first sign of juice on anyone within arm's reach of the group.

Anyway, this term is most often used by some of my friends to describe a personal conflict. Though it's most often said in jest and with little if any malice.

Ring of Fire

Arrived back home from the Eastside just a bit ago. Had some business out in snowy Snoqualmie, then reconnected with an old grade school friend at her condo in Bellevue. I can neither confirm nor deny the use of a smokable herb and some rounds of wii. Hey, if weed is OK for America's next president, then it damn well better be OK for me. You know, lead by example ...

Anyway, upon arriving home, I gave a shout out to Grace in San Francisco. Sounded like she was cleaning house from top to bottom. She brought up the subject of her most recent ex. I told her, from my perspective, it sounded like she was possibly missing him. Grace didn't seem to think so, at least that's what she was telling herself.

She further explained that no break up has ever felt like this for her. Well, no two break ups are alike, that's for damn sure. Every relationship is so incredibly unique. I assured her it was perfectly normal to miss Moron, that's what I've decided to call him. I mean, honestly, this loser gave up the most incredible woman anyone could ever have the privilege to call friend, let alone lover and soul mate.

Grace and I have both fallen into the burning ring of fire at some point over the past year or two. Of course like any good protagonists, we're so much richer for the experience. Through it all I think we've both discovered how much easier it is not to love than to love. A wise man once told me that, interestingly enough, the story of the little mermaid is the perfect tale of what love is like. The real story involves much pain. After the mermaid transforms into a human woman, each step she takes is like walking on razor blades. Her tongue is removed, rendering her unable to speak. After all her mortal sacrifice, the handsome prince ran off and married a land princess ...

WTF! That story sucks. The truth in the story is that there is pain associated with love, especially when lovers part ways.

While Grace was convinced for a while she had made safe passage from the initial pain, I think she's experiencing a throb. It's like stubbing one's toe. At first, a breakup really jolts a person. Then perhaps for a spell one doesn't feel anything. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, this profound ache sets in, then fades ... then comes back, perhaps this time less severe, then fades ... and so on, like a throbbing wound.

Longing, pining (pining is fucking lame!), sadness, remorse, regret - all these feelings surface during the throbbing. It's all part of coming out the other side of the "ring of fire."

I'll tell ya something, it's enough to make one not want to fall back into that burning ring. As humans who need love to justify existence, we cannot help ourselves ...

Confession ...

OK, I live in a VERY densely populated neighborhood, probably the city's most dense hood, and still have yet to look into monthly paid parking. I know, my bad.

Well, it was a hoppin' Friday night, and I was circling for quite a while looking for a place to park my car for the night when suddenly ahead of me I see an open spot. Apparently, however, a man standing in front of it was proverbially claiming "dibs." I attempted to pull in when the person he was reserving the space for pulled up on my ass so I couldn't back in. Pissed off, I let it go, circled the block a couple more times and found an alternate place to park.

I admit it, uh, I did something to their car ... I'm sorry, but there's no saving parking spaces. It's first come, first serve. You're either there ready to park or you're not. So fuck you.

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest. I'm sure karmicly they had it coming anyway ...

Gettin' fixed up

So Max emailed me yesterday concerning a single, recently-out gentleman who owns a high end men's clothing store at the top of Queen Anne. In fact Max has mentioned him to me on several occasions, and I can't quite tell whether he is just trying to gauge my interest or ... ???

Here was his email message to me:

"My friend who owns _____, _____, will be at __'s (hoedown) party tonight. He'll be wearing a zipper front brown leather shirt. He has longish hair and is about 6-feet tall and tan......oh, and handsome....like you. See if you can find him. He's a great guy and a good friend.

Have fun!"

My best friend in San Francisco, we'll call her Grace (since more often than not she is my saving grace), seems to think Max is trying to play puppet master. In fact, this is the image she sent me relative to the email thread we had on this subject:

I really don't take Max for that kind of person, one who would get off on manipulating people for his own personal entertainment, but I really don't know him all that well yet either. Then again, I do seem to have a recent track record of attracting such people into my life. We'll just have to see ...

I did let Max know I introduced myself to his friend at the hoedown last night. He was nice enough but not terribly talkative. I didn't mention he made kind of a poor first impression. Some things are best left unsaid ...

Gettin' ready for a showdown @ the hoedown ...

No western outfit would be complete without the essentials, some of these -->

So after a nice lunch with Ben, I needed to get myself together for the night's main event, the hoedown in Bothell, which is truly the frontier.

Got me some ox blood colored shit kickers from Old Duffers Stuff at the Pike Place Market. Then onto Metro Tailoring to pick up the ol' dungarees that I was having altered. Last, but certainly not least, a stop by Byrnie Utz Hats to pick up mine.

I was just grabbing my dungarees when he called, a new interest of sorts. Oddly enough he has the same first name as the one who stopped my heart in its tracks at the hoedown. So if it goes anywhere, I'll have to formulate a nickname, or best yet just to not let it go anywhere but funville.

Closure

In complete juxtaposition to the event later this same day, I obliged a request for some peace and closure the afternoon before the hoedown to a man, we'll call him Ben, I had been seeing for a couple months at the end of last summer.

For the past several months, he's sent me a few random email forwards. I've considered them an attempt at communicating, but in none of his messages did he make a specific request or state any specific purpose ... until last week.

Since I've known Ben, I quickly discovered he seems to have a hard time simply asking for what he wants. Perhaps he's not entirely sure what that is. Either way, when anyone reaches out with intention and purpose, how could anyone deny that? Not to mention, life rewards action. We ended up meeting for lunch at Cactus in Madison Park to catch up.

The conversation was for the most part light, which was great and appreciated. Just after the bill was taken care of, Ben made an apology. He said he felt badly about how things were handled during and immediately following the break up.

Truth be told Ben and our former, short lived relationship helped me realize I couldn't be with someone who had so many expectations of me in such a short time frame. Nor could I be with a man who lacked compassion, patience and understanding during a time of profound loss in my life. Another story, for another time.

Since then, after a few other "dating" experiences, I've come to further realize I'm not capable of being anything more than someone another person can have fun with, at least for now. No heavy or heady conversation; only capable of hanging out and having light hearted fun. Hey, Peggy Sue got married ...

I'm just 1.5 years out of a 7 year relationship. Another serious relationship is asking too much of myself at present. I will say one thing about being with one person for a number of years, it certainly heightens one's awareness of what one wants and doesn't want out of a relationship and a partner. I can see it all from a bird's eye view now. Not that I won't ever get serious with anyone else again, it just has to be with the right guy who I have the right chemistry and dynamic with. It's kind of one of those I'll know it when I see it sort of things ...

Anyway, I told Ben he needn't be sorry, that it is all water under the bridge. It's a new year full of new beginnings. Moving forward means letting go of that which holds us back from realizing our full potential. I think he appreciated that, and I very much appreciated Ben's drive to bring peace to the conclusion of our relationship as it previously existed for a short time before transforming into something new, hopefully a friendship.

My intuition tells me to give this guy another five years to roll through life and he'll surely be husband material. Perhaps not my husband, but I have every confidence he'll bring much joy and happiness to someone he truly loves and someone who truly loves him.

Also had an opportunity to connect with an ol' buddy of mine who is the executive chef at Cactus. When the waiter first approached, I asked whether he was working and to please discourage him from jacking off in my burrito. The waiter asked whether we were friends, and I told him I'd admit to it. Then he asked for my name and told me he'd let the chef know I was in. A few minutes later, out he came with a bright smile on his face.

My friend actually went to high school with my first boyfriend back in San Luis Obispo, CA (this is actually the first website I wrote content for, and much of it still lives on!).

Anyway, as it turns out, he may be soon in need of my professional services. I love how things come together organically like that.

I had the pulled pork torta, which was one of the Friday specials. Oh, it was SO good! Very comforting, kind of like a Spanish-influenced sloppy joe on warm corn bread, mmm ... The waiter assured me my torta was spunk free, and the bus boy confirmed this as well. Apparently this request for the chef to not jack off on my food was entered onto the ticket. Hey, now that's service!

After lunch, Ben and I walked back to our cars together for a hug goodbye. It really was a nice meeting. I didn't feel any awkwardness or unneeded pressure. Just two people who enjoy one another getting together and then parting ways. If only every human interaction could be that simple. (Heavy sigh ...)

Say what you need to say ...

Was only halfway expecting to see the one person who could send me from my usual, confident self into Jell-O with one fleeting glance tonight. Of course, there he was the moment I walked into the party. My heart slid from my chest past my stomach and out my ass ...

This is the second of two encounters within the past few months he has completely avoided me. I'm gathering this might be due to the fact I wasn't very warm and fuzzy during our last actual interaction. He can't even casually communicate with me, so how was he to know my beloved dog unexpectedly died just days prior to the event he approached me at. Not that he would have even cared how deeply this tragedy affected me, but it certainly would explain why I was in no mood to deal with his peculiar, somewhat dramatic and undoubtedly immature behavior.

In my entire life I can think of no one else I have loved more, greater or better than I loved this man. Not even the man I spent seven years building a life with. The good news is he's not the last man I'll ever love. Actually, at this point, I'm not even sure he is a man ...

Despite months and months having passed, he can't even say a simple hello. Oh, he can acknowledge me by attempting to latch onto my friends at a social function or trying to slip by me without being noticed and without the slightest hint of a social grace. Either way, he clearly doesn't have enough human decency to give us peace.

With him I was undoubtedly the bigger man, just like in my previous long term relationship. This time it's up to him to step up, especially since he conveyed to me, under no uncertain terms, I was to trust that he'll "be back in my life when he's ready." I can think of nothing more selfish and inconsiderate than the aforementioned request. Yet, I have ever since honored it and gone out of my way to respect his boundaries despite myself. Yet I still care. Yet I still love him, in some odd way ...

Sure, I've moved on in almost every aspect of my life. Yet he is the one man who lingers in my heart and mind like the wandering smoke from a burning cigarette. His was the connection I most treasured beyond that which has already vanished from my world. It's just as well as I believe he could have been my undoing.

Peace is the very least and the very most I can hope for with him. Please, bring us peace ...

Boot Scoot 'n' Boogie

Fixin' to head out to a hoedown at Russell's Barn in Bothell. I'll have to post post-party.

Rise & Shine

Few things in life I enjoy more than breakfast and Seattle Metropolitan. BUT, I'm a bit disappointed this "about town" magazing is letting all the cats out of the bag, giving away all my safely guarded morning spot secrets. It's mildly hateful. Many of these places already have long weekend waits. Guess I'll just have to stick to weekdays to enjoy my favorite a.m. haunts.

One thing is for sure, they'll never find my favorite South Seattle breakfast dive, Randy's. Oh, it is a touch of mid-century rubbish. Either a Denny's or Cindy's likely was the former tenant in this '62 World's Fair-looking remnant. The interior features dark faux-wood paneling (the kind you'd find inside a '70s RV) with orange and pink pleather upholstered booths. It would be virtually impossible to overlook the plethora of aviation paraphernalia hanging down from the vaulted ceiling by way of fishing line.

Randy's waitresses are marvelous. Adorable older women who look like Aunt Bea or grandma. They wear designer eye wear, crisp white shirts, black pants and black aprons with white pinstripes. These gals are a hoot, always ready to strike up conversation, make a quick quip or give you a hard time for not finishing your hash browns.

Of course you can really rate a breakfast spot by it's coffee. Randy's has a good, diner style cup o' joe, served in a giant ceramic mug that is so big they've filled up the exterior sides with advertising. Clever and cost effective, both the coffee mugs and the restaurant itself. Mmmm ...

Perhaps the End IS Near

OK, every now and again I enjoy cruising the personals in the papers and online. I couldn't help but share this, uh, post from Craigslist. Honestly, what other fetish-laden gimmicks will people come up with next? That was a rhetorical question. Please, for the love of God, don't answer it! Honestly ...

Jack off on a robot

Reply to: pers-550841365@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-24, 10:11PM PST

I have a small toy robot that I would like someone to jack off on. Come over, door will be open, go into the living room, drop your pants and jack off on the robot (pictured). Zip up and leave.

I will be upstairs reading and will not see you. I'll leave some hard boiled eggs for you as payment for gas.



it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 550841365

The Dawn of Insanity

Lord only knows I shouldn't have had two of those old fashions last night. Well, they were delicious and nevertheless ya only live once. However, the above view out my front windows is about close to how I'm seeing our modern world this morning. As festive as it appears, it's really cold out there and eerily quiet, which is deceiving.

Not more than a few nights ago, hanging out of her second story apartment window (pictured above as the lowest window in the photo, which has somewhat of an orange glow to it), this mad woman - I assign that a dual meaning because she was obviously pissed off about something as well as she was just straight up nuts - screamed out her window to virtually no avail about what she perceived to be the evils of this world: people, money, corporations, and the list goes on. Hey, maybe she's not all that crazy. Perhaps she has a point in waging a personal war against the have/have not world we've created.

Nevertheless this fucking psycho bitch woke me up out of a deep sleep around 2:00 a.m. the other night. I'd about had it between the derelicts in the four rehab buildings across the street and the hipster bar at the end of the block. So I called 911 in hopes they would send someone out to shut this woman the fuck up!

Interestingly enough a friend of mine had an encounter with her the very next day. My friend happens to be a Seattle police officer, and he was called to the scene, responding to yet another complaint about this mad woman. Apparently she had gone off her psyciatric medication, as well as the proverbial deep end. This time she barricaded the front door of her unit, plugged up the sink and/or the bathtub and flooded the unit. The building owner was having the entire building rewired that day, so that whole microcosm of a world came to a grinding hault while Seattle police broke open the door to crazyville.

To give screamer bitch the benefit of the doubt, I suppose if most people really took a good hard look at the inner workings of our modern world, most would probably flip their lids too. Ignorance is bliss. That's not to say things can't change, but human nature isn't really something I'm all that proud of . Time and time again we ignore history, wage war against ourselves and destroy what we've worked so hard to achieve. We humans are in a constant tug-o-war with ourselves over ideology and resources. It's really quite shameful - there's plenty to go around. Further, if we weren't so damn wasteful, there would be even more of everything to go around for everyone. When will we as a species learn from our mistakes? Will we ever?

OK, that's enough of a rant for before 7:30 a.m. on a weekday morning. More later ...

But we've only just begun

Ah, Quinn's ... very nice. Quite enjoyed my evening with my engaging companion. We'll call him Max to play it safe. He's a devastatingly handsome man, the kind of man anyone would want to be with or at least be seen with. Thick, full-bodied salt and pepper hair, masculine facial features (e.g., chiseled jawline, rugged good looks), hazel eyes, great skin, dimples and a smile that could light up any typical Northwest overcast day ...

Truth be told, if he weren't partnered, I probably wouldn't be the least bit interested. OK, well, that's not entirely true, in fact nowhere near the truth. I admire Max as a friend, gentleman and scholar. He is a gentle man through and through. From his posture to how he conducts himself in an uncomfortable situation, generally he smiles and curtails the conversation or subtly points it in a new direction.

We talked about, among all things, the ancient prophecies predicting the near end of life on earth as we know it today. Yeah, I know, what uplifting conversation ... and to think I broached the subject. Actually, I consider myself a die hard optimist, but I'm also a realist.

Recently, I've taken in some cable programming on the subject. Apparently the ancient Mayans, the ancient Chinese and legendary visionary Nostradamus all predicted an end of human civilization. In fact, they all predicted civilization would end on the exact same day less than five years from now ...

Following some of this prophetic programming, I also happened to catch a related special about Life After People (check out the related Ghost Town blog - it's quite spooky!). Not sure whether it's because my dining companion also happens to be a successful architect, or because I just happened to stumble upon these topics so recently they were top of mind, but I interjected them into the conversation.

It's amazing the illusions we as humans attempt to convince ourselves of. Foremost, that we are in control of anything, much less earth's environment. Perhaps our modern monuments give us some security in thinking that our time here is purposeful and will long since be remembered, even after we're gone. Maybe it will be, maybe not ... The real question is, why does any of it even matter?

We spoke of the three generations of family members slain by one of their own on Christmas Eve about 45 minutes East of Seattle this past holiday season because of a dispute over money. For the love of God - why?! Is money really that dire? Does anything justify killing one's own family, or is that just some mere societal thought that conforms to modern civilization? Where is the true divide between right and wrong? What is the value of human life?

More questions than answers here tonight. In the grand scheme of things, what does truly matter? As with most things, I truly believe that is in the eye of the beholder.

Well, I'm looking to have a bit more fun this evening, or might actually get a good night sleep before my 9:30 a.m. meeting tomorrow. Either way, more to come ...

The Beginning

To what end must I go to create my blog's beginning? Here I sit upon my chocolate leather chaise, gazing out my front room windows, pondering our existence. At the conclusion of a typical Wednesday evening, commencing somewhat of an online journal of sorts ...

Truth be told, I'm actually just having a little fun finishing the start of my blog whilst I wait for a handsome, older gentleman to collect me from my apartment in his shining silver Mercedes, by which he'll whisk me away to a recently opened Capitol Hill establishment called Quinn's. My industry sources tell me it has the same owners as Belltown's acclaimed Zoe.

Yes, the photo is a view from my 7th floor bachelor pad atop the Granada, an old world 1920's brick - What's this?! An email from my best friend in San Francisco. Apparently her most recent ex boyfriend just sent her an email about the package of his goods she just shipped him back.

Great! Now my gentleman friend just phoned, saying he's going to be about 15 minutes early. I'm SO not ready to roll outta here! More later ...