Someone seemingly out of nowhere handed me a baby. They fled. I'm holding this cute baby in my arms. I wasn't sure what to do. Was I to keep it? I start to walk forward. Suddenly I realize I just stepped on something. It was another baby, a really, really small baby; a preemie. I was horrified! The preemie was burrowed face down on the ground. I picked it up. There was no sign of life. I was completely shock-stricken. I'm pretty sure this was the point when I awoke as I don't remember anything beyond this.
Of course I had to consult my dream book on this one. Here's the revelation I have so far:
"To see a train in your dream represents conformity. You are going along with what everyone else is doing. Or you have a need to do things in an orderly and sequential manner. If you see a passenger train, then it relates to mental work. Alternatively, your dream of trains may be a metaphor that you are "in training" for some event, job or goal. To dream you are on a train symbolizes your life's journey. It suggests that you are on the right track in life and headed in the right direction. Alternatively, you have a tendency to worry needlessly over a situation that will prove to work out in the end."
Well that's reassuring.
"To see a city in your dreams, signifies a sense of community. To dream you are in a deserted city indicates that you feel rejected by those around you."
Wow, that's pretty fucking accurate. I'll get back to that in a minute.
"To see a baby in your dreams signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted. If you find a baby in your dream, then it suggests that you have acknowledged your hidden potential. If you dream that a baby is neglected, then it suggests you are not paying enough attention to yourself. You are not utilizing your full potential. To dream of an extremely small baby symbolizes your helplessness and your fears of letting others become aware of your vulnerabilities and incompetence. To see a dead baby in your dream symbolizes the ending of something that is part of you."
OK, that went a bit below the surface right to the core. I'm really intrigued by that very last sentence, almost as if I know the answer. It just eludes me now.
I've been chronically ill for the past nine months. This has been the most traumatizing journey I have ventured to date. While I have a sense I am just beginning to really heal and restore my wellness, there have been many moments I thought I might possibly keel over dead.
This has also been a very isolating journey few can relate to in my sphere. I have friends who I am pretty sure don't really know how to support me in what I've been going through. Some don't really acknowledge or even check in to see how I'm doing.
The flip side of that isolation coin is having withdrawn quite a bit because I just haven't had the wherewithal to do much more than work through my health issues, perform my job functions (when I've been well enough to) and do what I can to keep the status quo at home (which has symptomatically been fairly improbable).
Here's hoping the part of me that's ending is the illness that has altered the course of my life and made me for a time a stranger to myself.
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