Conscious Breathing

On July 22, I participated in my first ever conscious breathing workshop. My energist Erika Lynn brought this opportunity to my attention. She had done this once previous, and said it was mind blowing. She said people travel to other places, times and dimensions. Bare with me here, I know this is uber woo woo.

I wasn't sure entirely what to expect, other than I would be in a group of people all laying face up on the floor in a large space, breathing intensively for what I perceived to be a long period of time. For me it's the breath-work part of the practice that gave me more apprehension than anything. The fact that for so long I've been struggling with shortness of breath. Couldn't help but have some nerves around this.

Still, I went in with an open mind. Energy healer Zach Rehder facilitated the event. He had a very kind, calming and loving presence.

First order of business was to take care of business. Meaning a quick pre-workshop bathroom break. By starting with an empty bladder, there's less possibility for distraction during the breath work.

The workshop was in a modern, renovated factory space in Seattle's south of downtown (SODO) district along first avenue. Out the large floor to ceiling windows stood towers of shipping containers where red and white mega cranes loomed backdropped by the Olympic Mountains.

We got underway a little after 7 pm, which is a couple hours before summer sunset in the Pacific Northwest. So we were given eye masks for sight deprivation.

If memory serves less than 30 people attended. We were organized into three rows, each with feet pointing away from one another. Zach started by explaining ancient cultures used the same word for breath as they did for spirit. The purpose for this distinction was to share more insight about breath.

Typically we think of breath as a life sustaining way to oxygenate our blood. Zach went beyond this simple understanding. He said breath is consciousness, an intelligent force. When we welcome this into our bodies in such a way, amazing things can happen. Healing. Awakening. Miracles.

For about the first 15 minutes Zach set the tone in a very calm and compassionate demeanor. One of the most important things he stressed is to breath into the practice, let go and allow ourselves to go wherever we are taken. He did echo what my energist mentioned about traveling to other places and dimensions. That spooked me a bit, still not as much as whether I would be able to endure the breath element. Zach also mentioned we would not be given anything, shown anything or taken anywhere we're not ready to experience. That was comforting. Additionally, we all agreed to only share about our own experiences.

Zach instructed us to lay on our backs, blankets over us if we desired. I used mine as extra padding. With our eye masks on, he invited us to arrive and be present. Using our mouths only, we were coached to draw a breath in, let it go and repeat the draw as soon as the breath released. We were asked to envision creating a wheel with our breath, and to continue turning the wheel smoothly without pause. We would do this for 30 to 40 minutes. At various times, Zach would let us know individually when we could turn on our sides and then relax into our normal breathing. He turned on some very ambient, almost hypnotic, semi Buddhist monk-esque music, which played during the entire session.

So around and around I went with my breath. I held my focus on maintaining the flow as best I could. In and release. In and release. Every now and again I would hear Zach say, keep breathing, keep turning the breath, beautiful.

At first I wasn't sure where things were going, and I think that's the whole point. In previous meditative practices a fundamental mindset was to commence without expectation. Zach gave us a few possible outcomes prior to getting started. He said we may suddenly feel hot or cold. We may experience cramping. We were told to allow it, breath into it and it would ease.

In and release. In and release. I continued to keep my flow, focusing and allowing it to be what it is. At one point the breathing just took on a life of its own to a degree. I was conscious I was still driving my breath. At the same time, I was also in tune with the very pronounced sensations in my body. A deep vibration rattled my chest, my mouth, my upper arms. At times I felt convulsions, mostly in my limbs. Sometimes during meditative body scans I would experience something similar to restless legs syndrome. Only this was in both my legs and arms.

A little further in I felt a presence over me. It was Zach. He gently rested his hands on my waist and then rocked my hips side to side. I can't remember if he verbalized what he was doing or if it was just my knowing he was ensuring the energy moving through my body was coursing evenly. Either way I felt a loving force.

I began to have visions. I saw and felt my dear Grandma holding me in her arms, shielding my toddler ears from fog horns that whaled along the coast of Maine when we vacationed there decades ago. I then saw and felt myself holding my best friend and her infant child in my arms.

Whether it was before or after these visions, Zach came by and whispered for me to turn onto my left side to relax into normal breathing when I was ready to do so. At this point I believe I was still experiencing really intense vibrations in parts of my body, so I stayed with those a while longer and then very slowly made my way onto my side.

A short while after moving onto my side, I felt enveloped in divine love. That's the only way I know how to articulate what I experienced. It was brief and perfect. I imagine it was much like being in the womb. Perhaps I was having regressive memories?

I remember thinking upon my Grandma again, the sensation of her holding my hand, what a beautiful, loving soul she is. How she was so much the source of love in my life. How her light burned out in this life. I felt myself starting to cry. There were various times throughout the practice I heard others sob. It was a release of something, likely that which was no longer needed.

Even when I felt enveloped by divine love, I was still very much aware and conscious of where and how I was. I may have traveled to other places and experienced things far beyond the freshly repainted factory walls surrounding me. Even so, my mind was still very much connected to the state my body was laying it.

I saw people who had wronged me, and their ignorant suffering. Suddenly I'm seeing motivations from a whole new, egoless perspective. This gave me great compassion. Even some of my greatest enemies, like the Monsantos of the world, I suddenly saw cast in a new light. Even the most sinister darkness is part of the natural order of things and has its place in the world. For every black magic spell there is an equal and possibly even greater white magic spell.

Suddenly a chill ran up my spine and I flinched. It was Zach's hand. He placed it on my lower back once more. This time I didn't resist. He moved his hand up my spine. My knowing understood this as moving energy, assisting the flow.

A while later Zach spoke to the group intermittently, letting us know he would soon be calling us back. Finally he invited us to slowly sit up and remove our eye masks. Remembering my yoga, I used just one arm to prop myself up, only bringing my head fully upright once my torso was completely erect.

As I peeled the mask away, I could barely see, especially out of my left eye. The room wasn't necessarily dark. The lighting was soft and moody. It took my eyes quite a while to adjust. I felt a little woozy, like I had just awoken from a deep sleep. Yet I was fully awake the entire time.

Only one person was unable to return fully when we were called upon to do so. Zach knelt down beside them and whispered into their ear. Then returned to being present to the group as if confident he had done enough to bring this person back. Sure enough, a few moments later they began to stir and eventually sat up.

Zach went around the room and asked each of us to share a word or two about how we were feeling. I scarcely recall a time I felt more peaceful and at ease. When he got to me, the word my mouth formed was tranquil. I'm sure I even said it in the same manner as the word is defined.

Overall, I now feel like I just scratched the surface of something really incredible. I would love to do this work again. Zach advised us to engage in this as a facilitated practice at least 10 times before attempting to do it on our own. I'm looking forward to his return visit in October.