Living Without Preference

Recently a couple of my close friends confided they've not been happy. One of them thinks they might have edged into depression. I've certainly had my ups and downs on the roller coaster of autoimmune disorder.

Of course as a compassionate friend my first instinct is to want my friends to be happy. So I'm naturally inclined to want to help them find the silver lining, sugar coat it and then beam a ray of sunshine on it. That would be the Planet Unicorn brand of uber gay.

My acupuncturist treated me yesterday for what he labeled as Running Piglet Syndrome. By Western definition my body had an over abundance of thyroid hormone. Apparently this caused my rapid heart rate, palpitations and trouble catching my breath over the weekend.

While on his table we discussed moods and feelings, among many other things. Basically there's a "therapy" component to his treatment. He treats his reaction to how I occur for him based on my thoughts and feelings about my current state of being. I know, that sounds like the Southern California brand of flaky and weird. So what, it works.

After I related the sadness I experienced over the weekend, he says, "Maybe it's about living life without preference."

What did he mean by that exactly? I'll tell you. Most of us enjoy being happy, feeling well and having a sense of contentment with ourselves and our lives. It would then stand to reason most of us prefer to be happy, prefer to feel well and prefer to have a sense of contentment. These states of being are fleeting. All states of being are. We cannot know the light without the dark.

Living without preference, I believe, means accepting where you are in the moment exactly as it is. Being present. Finding contentment in whatever state of being happens upon one's self.

As I reflected on my sadness from a couple nights ago, I found comfort and contentment in those moments. I put on some beautiful chill, moody (but not dark) jazz. Brought the lights in the house down to a warm glow. Practiced a mindfulness based meditation. Ate some delicious homemade chicken noodle soup. Spent some cozy time on the sofa with one of the cutest little dogs in the whole world. Opened myself up to make some expressions in writing. The one thing I did not do was resist my emotional and physical states of being. All in all, despite not being where I originally wanted to be, I ended up in a wonderful place.

My chiropractic practitioner, who is also a good friend, says, "Health doesn't just happen to people. You have to work at it." Indeed.

After giving it some thought, I felt it more worthwhile to impart this information about preference with my friends who complained of not being happy. I'm not sure whether they found this useful, or if they even understand it. I just feel grateful for having discovered this distinction so I can be more mindful about putting this into practice for my life as I have already enjoyed the benefits of this mindset.