Happy New Year

2015 is certainly off to a start. My husband and I agreed to leave the following behind us in 2014: anxiety; illness, impatience and procrastination. I think we may have overdone it on the procrastination as we jumped right into a substantial home remodel project the day my mom and Al arrived back from tying up their loose ends in Coeur d'Alene. With the house, namely our sleeping quarters, in chaos and a terminally ill elder under our roof, we are certainly anxious for our lives to feel more settled.

Part of our lives being settled hinges on my mom and Al's lives being settled in their own place. They sold their home in Idaho, which closed at the tail end of last week. I found them an ideal place over here, which I'm co-signing on and representing us in the purchase. We were slated to close tomorrow. This new home deal means everything to my mom She is so excited about it, and I honestly think it is giving her longevity.

Late Friday I received an email from my lender, notifying me underwriting needed some additional clarification on my income. Incidentally I'm co-signing on my mom's loan in addition to representing us in the purchase. I am a small business owner, thus I would expect additional scrutiny. At the same time, this scrutiny I would have anticipated weeks ago. They've had all of my supporting documentation since prior to Thanksgiving.

While this loan process is unfolding completely haphazardly, other things have gone well. We were expecting for my mom to have to cough up $5k-$6k for a moving company. As it turns out, Al's family local to Coeur d'Alene all pitched in to pack them up, rent a U-Haul and move them over, saving them thousands. The plan was to close on the sale and then the purchase a few days later and move them directly into their new garage while we make interior improvements. Best laid plans ... So now we have a truck full of their household goods and have to scramble finding a place for it all to go. Then we'll have to move them a second time vs. just from garage to house. After spending a weekend wondering whether this new home deal was actually going to go through, as of late yesterday I have confidence of its success. That this is happening and our appraised value is more than $15k higher than our contract purchase value, I'd say we're overall in pretty good shape.

Meanwhile, back at home, we have an oncology appointment for my mom this morning. She has been waiting for a couple weeks to find out whether she's a candidate for a trial program. This resulted from her current treatment being effective, just not as effective as her oncologist would like to see. I cannot imagine the level and degree of anxiety my mom is grappling with. I am optimistic she will be accepted into the program and this new treatment course will be somewhat of a miracle. Yes, I know this is wishful thinking.

Yesterday my mom and I had a chance to connect. I was able to calmly relay to her the hiccups in our deal, be open about the fine line I had to walk between her excitement and my fear that it may not happen. We were able to talk about our feelings of disconnect, that she doesn't feel like she's gotten to be my mom and that I haven't been feeling like I've gotten to be her son.

Though this time is difficult, it is only a short phase of life.