I HEART OR

I do, I really do just so love Washington State's quirky neighbor to the south. Oregon is as purely American as Weird Al Yankovic. Oregon is also known as "the Canada of California," "the Mexico of Washington," and sometimes "the Spain of Idaho."

My husband and I drove down to Cannon Beach over the long weekend to visit my hypochondriac mother-in-law.

One of the things I love most about Oregon are gas pump valets. Yes, you don't even have to leave the comfort of your cozy, luxury automobile to refuel or just top off. By law Oregon requires people to be employed to pump your gas for you, and you don't have to tip them. I wish Washington would mandate such creature comforts for Washingtonians.

Pictured: An Oregon gas valet wearing an official day glow vest (a nod to the '80s), hoodie, beanie, shades and hipster beard.

It's true, this beloved Oregon law is primarily around public safety more than it is for convenience. The state's lawmakers believe the ordinary citizen is too stupid to operate gas pump equipment themselves safely. Now if only such laws existed in the Bible belt. I think there's a large percentage of the U.S. population in that region who inhale an excess amount of gas fumes. I digress ...

Admittedly, I get confused by Oregon's street signs. They just say SPEED followed by a number.

So are they telling me to speed? Is this a subliminal message to support the local economy's black market and buy speed at said dollar rate? Should I be driving at least 50? If so, 50 what? Miles per hour, kilometers per second? It's these subtleties that further enhance Oregon's charming mystique. I applaud the state's efforts to curb wasteful spending on additional ink for letters while at the same time keeping things interesting. Fact, Oregon drivers are statistically the slowest in the country. As I recall that recent study posted on Facebook, I don't exactly remember what they meant by "slow."

Speaking of mystique, Oregon has a couple county names that sound a lot like venereal diseases. Clackamas. Clatsop. I have also wondered how malignant the county name Multnomah is. Then, according to my friend Eric, there's the town of La Pine. As he drove through with a friend from France, it was revealed La Pine in French means "the penis." So if people living in Seattle are Seattleites; are the townspeople of La Pine called Penises?

Of course being from a state with one of the highest retail sales taxes in the nation, I love going to Oregon which has no sales tax. It's like the state is having a permanent 10 percent off sale. What's not to love about that?!

Oregon, you are so much more than Washington's weird step sister. Thanks for all the chuckles, The Goonies and for rescuing so much of Washington's unwanted garbage. You're a true friend.