I see Judith about every six months to a year or so. It really depends. She's like an oracle, nurturer and regardless of belief she just delivers truthful insights.
Today I went to see her about foremost my health. I'm looking ahead and certainly not forward to some oral surgery in a couple weeks. My practitioner warned this type of procedure could be physically disfiguring. I'll admit, I have some ego around appearance. Most humans do. More than that, as I settle into fortysomething (which tends to seem old when I articulate that), I, like most humans at this stage in life, am faced with aging. For the past few years I've been focused on recovering my health. While my health recovery is certainly still a focus, and barring anything other than natural causes of aging, it's possible I'm much nearer to the end of my life than the beginning of it.
So the possibility of some facial changes resulting from surgery still relates to ego. For me, it has more to do with a visible sign in the aging process than anything. Since embarking on my very long path to healing a few years ago, people in my everyday life have taken notice of my self care. I've shed excess weight. My skin has improved. In fact I've heard people around me say on several occasions I'm reverse aging.
Yes, I do realize I'm inevitably going to age. While I have grown wiser with age, there is still a very playful, youthful part of my being that has always resided in me. This aspect of my self I hold core to who I am, who I've always been and who I want to always be.
At the beginning of each session, Judith takes a personal object of mine and "reads" it. Today it was my ring, which she holds in both hands as she focuses with her eyes closed on the feelings she receives from it.
I close my eyes, too, and I let go of outcome to focus more of my energy into her thought wave. Today it took no time at all before Judith broke silence.
"First, I really want to acknowledge all of your changes," she said. "It's like you've leaped up from here to here." She moved her hand from the tabletop considerably upward, looking me deep in the eyes.
"On an emotional and spiritual level you have really come such a long way. You're vibrating at a much higher level." Judith added in a tone filled with loving, joyful encouragement.
I would be remiss if I failed to mention how much that means to me. My health journey has been such a profound struggle. Sometimes I wonder what the point is. I'm just going to die anyway. For me, there is something deeper that's driving my belief I'll get better, things will get better, my life enjoyment will vastly improve. This life is all I know, and I have people who depend on me. Judith's encouragement alone today meant so much to me. I really needed to hear it. I know my husband who sees me everyday grows weary of my seemingly constant, physical challenges.
Before we get into the tarot, Judith has me draw three dolphin cards, representing body, mind and spirit. I drew the following:
Body- Peace
Mind- Taking care of what we have
Spirit- Laugh out loud (could certainly benefit from much more of that - this life thing can be such serious business)
We further explored what's ahead via the tarot. I asked around my upcoming surgery, and the cards appeared to confirm now is the time to have done what I'm planning to have done. Also that my upcoming procedure is going to be a painful process and will take me quite some time to heal from. Judith advised me to get my naturopath's advice for before and after surgery care, which is very sound. Surprisingly it's not something that occurred to me. Overall she said my body is taking a long time to heal, and to allow it to stay the course without expectation of outcome. The good news is that I am still healing. I know this to be true.
What I'm also really excited to share is about Judith's wisdom as it concerns my questions about my career and writing. Well the first part isn't too exciting, and that is I'm bored to tears with my current profession. The blessing there is it's supporting my life, which is important. According to the cards the coming of age story project I'm working on is serving me very well. It's helping me further heal old wounds and reconnect with a time that seemingly didn't make much sense to me then. Now with a wiser perspective I can more confidently connect all the dots. While this story may not be a bestseller, it's wonderful practice. She urged me to not structure it, allow it to write itself, which has been mostly the case. Judith most importantly impressed upon me to speak my hard truth.
She paused for a moment before saying she got the sense I'm working on three stories, and then advised me to braid the three stories together. I found it interesting she used the word braid. My story takes place around 1990. Hours before seeing Judith I had written about those God-awful braided belts worn back then, the kind that were looped in a knot after the buckle. When I shared this with her she said it gave her a chill. The same symbolic word showed up for us both on the same day. That's pretty synchronistic if you ask me. Now I have a more profound use for the word, and I could not be more grateful. Though part of me had a sense the story didn't necessarily have to be chronological, and it would likely be more interesting to the reader if it weren't, I think I have a wonderful new direction to take my work.
Judith also remarked about a sadness she sensed about my story and she asked me what that was about. I told her it's about being deeply remorseful for all that was great at the time and not having appreciated those people and experiences for what they were then. A great life lesson learned many years too late, to live in the moment with gratitude. Judith acknowledged such a feat to be highly challenging, even for those who have matured. We all know this to be true. So is it human nature to be discontented or is this something we're programmed to learn as children?
Next I asked about my role as godfather to my best friend's daughter. This I felt timely in preparation for my trip to Denver the following morning. According to the cards I will be the child's spiritual versus religious guide. Then Judith asked me if the child's parents had made any particular request of me. I shared that her mother had once remarked about me being her daughter's spiritual guide. Then Judith said my influence on the child will be most impactful in her teen years, and mostly as a role model. Imagine that, me as a role model? That is serious business. I regard such matters with profound duty.
At the end of the reading I am to draw one last card from the deck. The last card I drew was the Ten of Pentacles. Even reversed, the Ten of Pentacles is generally a very positive omen. This is not, however, a time to gamble with security and things that are important; in other words, don't take silly chances. The reversed Ten of Pentacles in general says you have a great deal to be happy about, but you need to beware a sense of boredom, which often comes about when people are actually at peace. Don't shake things up for the sake of it. Count your blessings, at all levels. Truly words to live by ...
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