Choice

What a difference a day makes. Friday my mom is resigned to an incurable prognosis and slated to begin chemo as soon as Tuesday. I'm certain the myriad of thoughts clouding her mind that day more than overwhelmed her, at the very least. She resisted my opinion about getting a second or third opinion from a specialist or two in Seattle, which is at the forefront of cancer research and treatment options.

"What would my doctor say," she asked.

"Mom, this is about your body, your life, your future - not about someone else's ego," I said.

Yesterday, after a heart-to-heart she had with her best friend Sally, she has chosen to come to Seattle for opinion(s) as well as treatment. I couldn't be more elated!

Sally suffers from a terminal lung illness, non-cancer related, and is on a waiting list for a lung transplant. Growing up she was in many ways like a second mother to me, only a much more empowered, head-strong and jovial one at that.

Sally and her husband are comfortable. They offered their home to my mom and her partner Al. Sally said to my mom, "If you and I have to go soon, we're going holding hands." My mom wept as she told me, and this inspired my own eyes to mist and my heart to swell.

I'm leaving in the morning to pick up my mom and Al from Coeur d'Alene. Where I choke up is not knowing whether my mom will ever return to the beautiful home she has made. I cannot imagine what must be going through her mind.

Just had lunch with some beloved friends, and were having a conversation about choice. No one is a victim. Even through non-action we still make our choices.

For example, a friend of mine, who is a sincere pain in the ass, admitted on a camping trip several years ago that he and his now ex partner's adoption of their son was a mistake, more so that he didn't want to be a parent. My response was simply that he made the choice by allowing his partner to drive what ideally would be a couple's joint choice. For that reason he had chosen, is not a victim and had best step up to take responsibility for that choice. He has since taken some responsibility, there's always room for improvement. I digress ...

I was thrilled yesterday to hear confidence and fight in my mom's voice. She seems happy with her choice, and it is one I can wholeheartedly get behind. I am looking so very forward to seeing her tomorrow, the first time since her concerning news broke. I love my mom dearly, and I want to be there with her each step of the way with conscious choice!