The Impermanence of Friendship

Feeling a little lost and disconnected today. This seems to be the case when I'm emotionally a little needy. Always prefer to be the one lending support vs. needing it. Also feeling guilty for wanting support when it is my mom who could really use it much more than I right now.

I've been thinking about who I turn to during difficult times. Back in the day I could turn to so many. Today I turn to maybe one or two, including my husband. Perhaps that's just life as I continue to age and mature. It is said when one is young it's important to have many friends, and as one grows older it's important to have just a few good ones.

Before my illness I had a very full social life. Since becoming ill, several people I used to think of as close friends have transformed into acquaintances. I'm adjusting to the way our friendship was in my memory compared to the way it is now. Since seeing these things for what they are, I really don't want to change the way things have changed. My sense is, if the bond of friendship is solid, it will withstand the test of time. Therefore I will adjust my mindset and allow things to be as they are. If the bond remains, strengthens, weakens or breaks, it will be what it is. Only time will tell ...