Personal Growth & Evolution

Went on a little mountain biking excursion today in Snoqualmie with a couple of friends, one of whom I've a 19 year history with. The night before I connected with another friend of mine who I have more than a 20 year history with. There's something to be said about people who are capable of maintaining quality, long term relationships and there's something equally admirable about doing physical activity in the outdoors that really arouses the body, mind and spirit.

As I was feverishly pedaling up Snoqualmie Ridge, I got to thinking about my blog. I know, strange thing to ponder when one is pushing their physical limits. At any rate, I got to thinking more about the purpose of my blog. Based on a subsequent conversation I had with my BFF Grace, an incredible sounding board, I think this forum is more or less a medium by which I can monitor my own personal growth and development.

It's interesting how much one learns about one's self when one takes note over a period of time. What I've learned is that I've at times taken sheer pleasure in other humans' mistakes by pointing them out and making light of them. That's actually not very constructive nor the person I know myself to be.

To my core I am loving, supportive, kind, understanding, optimistic and very honest (sometimes brutally). What can I say other than I've recently experienced a couple rough years. That's no excuse. One's past doesn't dictate one's present, and one's present certainly doesn't dictate one's future.

My dear Grace has a friend who is a priest. I can't resist, I have to share this man's real name: Tom Collins. I find it ironic for a priest to share the same name as a popular cocktail. Not that priests don't drink because they certainly do. Maybe it's the question of how one can drink and still honor their vow of celibacy. Don't think I could be that person ... Anyway, I digress.

Father Tom had a recent conversation with Grace about what we humans need most in our lives. You may be surprised by these three very simple notions: love, acceptance and forgiveness.

After having heard this, I felt the need to come clean about a few things so that I may foremost love, forgive and accept my own behavior and secondly do the same for others.

Recently, I came down pretty hard on someone I care about after discovering he behaved in a dishonest manner. It's challenging to be loving toward someone when their actions trample over your feelings. Despite the circumstances, I didn't rise to the occasion to meet this challenge in the way I would have been most proud of.

While I feel justified having called a spade a spade regarding this individual's duplicitous actions, my resentment made it difficult for me to be as loving as I would have liked to have been. I'm looking for a good opportunity to apologize to this individual for the way I conducted myself. While I don't condone someone making me into someone I'm absolutely not with no reasonable basis to do so, I understand this individual's motivations. I forgive his unskilled behavior and hope he too will be able to grow from our mutual experience.

Personal growth and evolution is a process. Acknowledging one's own weaknesses is the first step in being able to take effective action to bring about positive changes.

I'm going to do some more thinking about this blog. When I take a step back for a bird's eye view of all my content posts, and connect that to others' perceptions of me, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if others are as quick to place judgment upon me as I have been in expressing judgment of others in some of my posts. It's not my place, nor is it anyone else's ...